In my last post I talked about my fear of being touched that stems from being assaulted when I was a teen. But as weird as some people may think this is, that fear is twice as strong if the area being touched is my feet (I just cringed in my seat simply thinking about it). I can’t really explain why, but feet have always appeared so profoundly vulnerable to me (possibly due to the copious amount of Greek mythology I read as a kid, stupid Achilles). But whatever the reason, my feet were the first and last thing he touched and so are my biggest trigger.
This week I thought, what the hell. I already tortured myself with a massage, might as well violate the next boundary. Unlike last time, I was definitely not ready to have a guy touch my feet. So I found a place where it wouldn’t even be a possibility and bought a Groupon from there. I set up an appointment at Uptown Toes for Jessica and I, because I didn’t think I could do this one alone.
We walked into one of the cutest shops I have ever seen. Black and pink permeated throughout the rooms in the form of sleek comfortable furniture and fluffy pillows.The bathrooms even had complimentary spray deodorant and body mists. And since I was curious, I tried one. This ended with me not realizing the bottle was faced the wrong way and getting more mist on the palm of my hands than anywhere else.
After washing as much mist off as I could, I followed Sarah (my nail technician) into the nail room and soaked my feet in the bowls of water they had set up for us. Even though Jessica was there with me, I was struggling with the idea of letting Sarah do my nails. After I picked my color and design (purple with black butterflies), I leaned back and hid the death grip I had on the pillows with a wobbly smile.
“How are you doing?” Sarah asked, as she rubbed the brown scrub on my feet (she explained what this was but because I was preoccupied with worrying, all I heard was chocolate something or other).
It took me a few moments before I could force out an “Alright,”
“Liar,” she chuckled and quickly finished up the scrub so I wouldn’t have to sit through her rubbing my feet any longer than necessary.
She put marshmallows between my toes (again, something to do with the chocolate theme that I missed) and began painting them a deep purple. The painting was easier to handle because she wasn’t really touching my feet too much. I was able to pry my fingers open and relax into the steady banter flying around the room.
“Okay, don’t put this near your phone or your glasses,” Sarah said, as she gave me a white buffer block to take home, after she finished my toes. Because I’m a bit of a smart ass, I immediately lifted the block up to my face so Jessica could see me break Sarah’s rules. It might have been slightly childish but the laughter that rang around the room helped ease the last bit of tension.
“You’re a weirdo, but my kind of weirdo,” Sarah laughed, as she put her supplies away.
While the experience had more of an affect on me than I would have liked, I am still really grateful for the women at Uptown Toes for making it a little easier. My feet are still a big trigger for me but at least now they look pretty cute ^_^